I know I haven’t blogged much of anything funny recently and the explanation is that not much is funny when you’re quarantined in your house.

Okay, so we weren’t actually quarantined, but we basically didn’t go anywhere for two weeks while we played hot potato with a horrid head cold. I don’t even remember who got it first, but week 1 was spent in an indoor cloud of germs which I tried my best to nuke with about four cans of Lysol. By week 2 it was apparent no one in this household would escape the epidemic so I gave up trying to keep the boys from sneezing on each other and I let them run around the house again without their swine flu masks.

Just kidding, by the way. I didn’t really make them wear masks… although I may have thought about it… several times.

Caleb went to work on Tuesday (week 2) and was promptly kicked out of the office after he was caught sneezing. Apparently no one wants to be around you when it’s obvious you are a walking conduit of bacterium, something I figured on week 1 as I was glared down by a librarian after Jackson had a coughing fit in the lobby.

So we’ve been here at home for two weeks. TWO WEEKS, ya’ll. And here are some of the things we’ve done to keep the boredom at bay.

* Rearranged the living room a total of 4 times.

* Watched Chum disappear into a cloud of murky water.

* Filled an entire kitchen trash bag full of tissues in one afternoon.

* Washed three loads of water because someone forgot the clothes.

* Invented a new threat: “If you don’t keep that food on the table, I’m gonna Kanye West it!”